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Saudi girls and their secret love lives November 27, 2006

Posted by Aella in Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture.
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Found the following article on the site Arab View . It is written by Dr. Maha Al-Hujailan who is a medical researcher at King Khaled University Hospital in Riyadh. The name of the article is “Meeting a Girl’s Emotional and Psychological Needs: Parental Responsibility:

In the past few years, a new and unusual phenomenon has been spreading among girls in public schools, universities, colleges, and sometimes among teachers or between teachers and students. These women develop a feeling of admiration toward each other until they form a platonic relationship. These relationships often evolve into serious and dangerous associations not only emotionally but also physically.

Having this sort of relationships between Saudi girls coming to light lately doesn’t mean that they didn’t exist before. It only indicates that freedom of publicly showing interest among girls is permitted now. History reveals that such relationships among women were present in the Abbasid era but it remained highly secretive.

In our modern world, being exposed and learning from other cultures trying to understand their relationships, values and specifically this type of sexual relations made our girls open to getting attached to individuals from the same gender. There are many factors that cause and create this type of attraction toward the same sex; some of these factors are genetic, some are environmental related to how the girl was brought up socially and psychologically.

Some people believe that separating the two genders is the main cause for such relationships keeping in mind that sexual energy is an instinctive natural desire that each and every person has. And because there are no boys available to interact with these girls and make them experience these feelings, girls end up searching for other girls. However, I don’t totally agree with this theory. The Saudi woman still admits that man is her only way to release her sexual energy even if she had made some attempts with her girlfriend to try and explore it, but this is only considered “childish behavior.

I would like to clarify that sex is not an obsessive topic women talk about in a society like ours, but how is it that love and affection between girls is increasing to an unacceptable degree just like what’s happening now? To me it seems that the nature of the woman — any woman no matter what her status — and her need to feel love boosts her self-confidence, her femininity, and her sexual abilities. These feelings are born easily and very quickly as soon as a student praises her peer’s good looks, personality or character in an unusual way. Then the same student would follow up with a sensational letter that declares her feelings of friendship and sexual desire toward the other girl. What happens is that when the other girl receives the letter and starts reading the compliments and likes it, she starts feeling special and that she’s worthy of love and care. Not to lose these beautiful positive feelings, she agrees to interact using the same language. A strong relationship is then born between the two where the first girl dominates the other. It’s all because she is in need of someone to fulfill her psychological and emotional needs either because she’s lonely, disturbed, or has no confidence in herself. So she seeks someone to be so close to her and listens to her problems. And the relationship is welcomed by the other girl who becomes ecstatic on hearing, on a regular basis, how beautiful and sexy she is!   This is what happens when girls admire and like each other. But there are some who might cross this line and start taking the relationship to a physical level. Their feelings change because of lack of parental care or love or perhaps they lack religious moorings. Having certain traditions where our society prefers to keep girls away from boys, these relationships are socially safe and could be practiced easily.

An intermediate student told me that there are girls in her school who offer their desire to start a relationship with another girl as if it was a marriage proposal. When the student asks the other and the latter agrees, they get “married” spiritually. They start to appear together everywhere and even when they go to the bathroom. No one could be friends with any of the two girls, sit next to her, or talk to her. Any girl who tries to approach any of the two arouses jealousy in the other. If problems develop between them, they end up divorcing each other spiritually and go on a mission to search for other companions to hurt the other.

A girl who is in her first college years talks about her girlfriend in high school who used to smell her hands and tell her, “I wish I was a man so I could marry you.” Another girl talks about her roommate in college who tried to kiss her. Others admit that they feel strange attractions toward girls with strong personality or who have stronger physical appearances. And the more the girl’s features are similar to a man’s, the more she is found the best girlfriend.

The disgusting part of these sexual relationships is that some teachers like their students and vice-versa. In spite of being their behavioral and educational mentors and role models, teachers become active entities in spreading this sort of education in schools.

I believe that teachers with this attitude and unprofessional behavior lack self-esteem. In fact, such relationships give the teacher the chance to search for beauty spots in her so she could love herself. Teachers being entertained by and having fun with teenagers is not a new thing. It’s been happening for years now and not only in big cities, but it also exists in villages and small towns. We could point out that the social and cultural class has nothing to do with this kind of relationships. But as we all know, adolescence is a phase where girls like to discover themselves. It’s also the phase of sexual maturity and an increase in sexual desire would occur if the parents didn’t enlighten, educate and psychologically and emotionally look after these girls. Teenagers might end up making the wrong choices.

If we examine a straight girl — who is free of certain problems that make her like other girls — in her teenage years, she normally starts to day dream and fancy having someone else to share her emotional life with that her parents fail to provide. Therefore, it’s only normal the she starts to seek a girlfriend who can share her misery and listen to her problems that most girls in her age undergo. This emotional behavior is considered a normal thing if we realize that the girl imagines everyone is against her and she’s deprived of love or in need of having someone to understand her needs and appreciate her interests. The girl’s intensity might increase in this age to cross the normal limits if she is the victim of the media that glorifies sex and love among the same sex.

It’s important that we admit that these things are not confined to our society. We must also never feel ashamed to probe critical matters and try to find solutions for them. It’s rather pivotal knowing that parents observe the changes in their children’s’ behavior and bring them up feeling loved, cared for, and appreciated. It’s important that the mother becomes friends with her daughter and gets acquainted more with her interests. Most importantly, she must be aware of her daughter’s friends inside and outside the school. In the end, keeping your eyes open and watching your daughter isn’t the best way to prevent such relationships from happening as long as the girl is not convinced she’s doing something wrong. On the other hand, parents must find a healthy way to fulfill their girls’ emotional and psychological needs.

My message to all mothers who are reading my article is: Most of the girls who prefer to have relationships with other girls are experiencing problems with their mothers and are feeling emotionally drained inside their homes. They fear their future; they, therefore, look for peace and love somewhere else and they don’t tell their mothers what they do believing that the mother is their worst and biggest enemy.”

The article can be found at: http://www.arabview.com/articles.asp?article=742

Comments»

1. LiB Team - November 28, 2006

The same separation method explains why Saudi males shag everything they encounter, be it a boy, girl, chicken, wall , …. (just fill in the blanks with anything that has a hole in it loool)

It’s the same way here, fags have increased in number in Bahrain and sadly there are a lot of things that go on in boys and girls schools from rape to making out etc…

2. Sous - November 28, 2006

Lool! This kind of segregation just isn’t working. It really needs to be addressed.

3. Abu Sulaymaan - December 1, 2006

Its not the segregation, the Prophet, peace and blessings said this would happen when he said:

When someone whos religion and charachter is pleasing to you comes to you seeking marraige (from your female family members)
then marry him (to them). And if you don’t there will be great tribulation and corruption in the land.

This is exactly what is happening. The unrealistic social norms in Arab society push young people to be sexually frustrated maniacs. The fact is that sex is used as a marketing tool and it is shown everywhere whether it be t.v. or magazines. So what do you expect to happen?

If the older generation keep living in this monarchial fantasy that their daughters mahr should be 100,000 or close to that then you can kiss the allready tattering moral fabric of the Arabian peninsula goodbye.

I know a large number of decent young men who are desperately trying to get married, but because they are not wealthy it is difficult. This is the problem.

4. Sous - December 1, 2006

Salam,

Yes I have heard about this issue as well. It is sad indeed but if we are talking about girls say the at the age 16 then I don’t think marriage is an option anyway. That is way too young to get married. I believe that when you are separated from the opposite sex most of the time you build an image of the other side which is most likely not very realistic. I am not suggesting that the solution to the above problems would be solved by simply letting boys and girls mix freely but it is an issue that that must be addressed. How? I will leave that to someone else to think about😉.

All the best.
S

5. Abu Sulaymaan - December 7, 2006

Personally, I think women and men getting married young would be a very beneficial thing for society. What do young people benefit from the 4-7 years between 16 and up?

I understand that it would be hard for some people to understand because they are confined by a norm which has been hammered into there head, however, when children are taught responsibility they become responsible. Why did Usama bin Zaid at age 17 lead the army of the Messenger of Allah. peace and blessings be upon him??? (which he did and lead several succesful campaings). If a society wants children to become adults, it should not leave them to trial and error, meaning, why let our young people suffer the trials and tribulations of a wild youth and then HOPE that they figure out that none of it is worth it? And apparently, judging by the 30 something year old weirdos and creeps I meet in Madinah, it isn’t something that they learn. I feel sorry for these people, and the trend is relatively new, imagine after it sets in and then as you say here in the middle east…Khalas

May Allah guide us

Abu Sulaymaan

6. Sous - December 7, 2006

Yes, May Allah guide us all.

7. noname.cpp - February 16, 2007

i think saudi sucks…
a perfect environment to breed terrorists and extremists.

8. Barkat - February 19, 2007

I agree with Mr Abu Sulayman and we have to folow correct islam and correct teachings of Prophat Muhammed S.A.W. I am just surprise by the society here are nobody taking any note of what this generation is doing on the streets. The community leaders should address this problem otherwise we will be in a mess.
May allah guide us.
Barkat Khan

9. Nia - February 22, 2007

I, too think 14 and up is a good age to get married, and I’m a female. As for noname.cpp, I’m praying you are a person of color. I can’t understand how any European can talk about terrorism. No other nation has destroyed, corrupt, and molested nations with the depth that the Europeans has. If you think Saudi sucks, stay away from them. It’s holy then thou attitudes that make people lash out. You are not God’s gift to the world.

Again, as a female I agree ages 14 and up is excellent for marriage. I know I was ready for marriage at that age, because I grew up with my Mother and learned how to do everything in the house that she did. I also matured faster. I really don’t understand “western” mentality about young brides, when most girls in the society is having sex and getting pregnant anyway. They say “she is not mature” don’t speak for me. I can honestly say with a good upbringing..yes I was.

10. nancy edward - April 9, 2007

your just a slut nia

11. stork - April 11, 2007

nia sees herself ONLY as someone to marry at 14 and have kids, many kids, as long as her husband wants to have kids, no right at all to say NO to childbearing, to take care of her husband, who later on, when nia becomes old and worn, would marry another young bride and have as many kids as he wants

you grew with your mother Nia, ask her if she is truly happy

12. NABIL - May 7, 2007

I think Nia is rite. I have seen immature men at the age of 40!! and mature kids at the age of 10. So its clearly not abt maturity.

About WESTERN girls, what they only to GIVE birth to children when they are 14 and then other one when they are 19 with another bf. Well thats Maturity. Drugs, Rape and murder is their society’s motto.
Attack Iraq, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea. Attack every SOB that doesnt embrace their beer and boobs culture. PATHETIC!!!

13. saudisucks - July 23, 2007

Saudi Arabians prepare to slaughter an inncocent kiddie

more news on

http://saudisucks.blogspot.com/

14. Waleed - October 6, 2007

Salam,
This will be the first time that I put a comment in a Blog, but the issue treated here is worth commenting.

I was reading those comments with so much interest, and was kind of shocked that some people here lack respect for others. I think it’s bad to treat someone as “slut” because she just expressed what she thinks about this issue.

I think that the issue above is very important, and as in most of Arabic countries the biggest problem is COMMUNICATION. unfortunately, Arabic countries are not considering these kind of social problems and distress in the name of the “religion” most of the time, doing as if they don’t exist while no one dares to say it loud that these problems exist! I think that before judging these girls or these boys which are teenagers and all know that they are in the hardest period of their lives (the 13 to 19 years old) as all books of psychology would demonstrate, it is a great urge to give them assistance in school by establishing social programs initiated by these Arabic governments which keep these issues as Taboo’s.
Islam says: “La haya’a fi eddine”, I believe also that the family remains the main social educator, and having parents to show the path to their children and to COMMUNICATE with them about all the issues and to hear their is as important as the complementary role that Arabic governments should have dealing with this flea.
I think as Islam has created our way of life, Islam should be the reference to address these kind of issues. and Islam is a religion of communication with no taboos. I am sorry that we are losing the essence of our religion, falling into radicalism for the most distressed souls and having Men establishing rules for a closed society while their daughters or sisters are in such distress from these “unbreakable rules” that they get lost and fall into homosexuality.
May Allah show us the right path and lead us safely to a better future.

15. wkn - October 17, 2007

أبحث عن سعودية جميلة تبادلني الحب

16. MSTRIX - October 23, 2007

WAT DA? AM A MUSLIM GIRL 14 AND I HAVE FEELINGS FOR OTHER GIRLS SO WAT? PLEASE CAN YOU JUS LEAVE US YOUNG BI GIRLs ALONE AND AT LEAST HAVE SOME RESPECT ON WHO WE WANT TO BE.

17. DollyPrincess - October 29, 2007

Salam. Something isn’t right in here…

18. Aashif - January 8, 2008

Salam to All.

I have read all above mentioned from my Islamic brothers and sisters I have only find out about all these difficulties because we became very faraway from teachings of Islam and Mohammad PBUH.and our Media especially the TV channels which we and our childrens are seeing live and get Inspirations morally and physically.
So we and our seniors in society must be think and guide our childrens towards right path.
God Help us towards teachings of Islam.Amen
Ashif

19. zein - January 27, 2008

Sometimes i get da feeling that the only way 2 stop this is for da govt. 2 go ahead an order that all saudi males will have their dicks cut off a yr after birth.

20. K.Abbasi - February 18, 2008

Every one is right here on his/her opinion but i would like to say that bullshit having lack of respect , with no name.
Do any one think this y he dont display his name? coz he is coward to show him. If you dare to write some comments then also try to show urself.
One law here in Saudi Arabia I will strongly condemn, marraige of an 80 years old man with a young i would say teen ager girl.

Let see the more comments from u poeple on this

21. jihad abdullah al maruf - June 16, 2008

wow im an afroamerican revert i was in us air force stationd in al karj psab ksa in 98 im blessd2have allah swt open my heart to islam it saddens me2c such fitna remember quran 8 73

22. hashmi - July 20, 2008

salam

it was good to see this article, which i observerd when i came to saudi arabia,,,,,This is the worst thing going on in saudi….dont talk about wester countries at all…we are consern about muslims…

one thing what ever the relation will be if it is in the boundrey of islam it is good…if it cross the line …the people who are crossing will be in danger.

sex is the part of life not hole life…..

now the girls should be given choice to marry a male of there choice ..

and maher is a rule.. rules are made to make man’s life happy and safe not tough….please this is up to saudi girls and boys how they want to shape there life……the whole world is learning islam from you…as u are the university of islam in the world..you are the example for islam…. so guys think once…what you are doing this is wrong are right ……dear bro’s and sis….

23. Mohammad jes - August 2, 2008

Dont miss the big picture, most religions has love as the main goal.
Its like loving fotball but hate the other teams.
The way womans are treated in Saudi are just mens wish to have easy access to sex and missused power, nothing to do with religion. They are denied to live their lives, just living a life in a rules obeing competition.

24. samir - October 22, 2008

hi i,m samir i look for good girl i,m 26 years old i live with my mom i want marry beet ween 22or 34 age

25. samir - October 22, 2008

looking nice family and good reliative pls e mail me

26. Rs champ-omar - October 27, 2008

Hey.guys that’s correct.our religion is islam.and we have to follow the islamic rules.this everything we can do in heaven or janna. Hey i know an internet game name runescape. http://Www.runescape.com.its a nice game.adventure game

27. Tauseef Ahmed Siddiqi - November 17, 2008

Assalam Alaikum,

All concernd
I am agree with this article totaly based on the Isalamic Culturel belongs with the events there is one time the article going wrong
1) the totaly talking about the sexual & re-expeirns with her teacher or same things apllicable with the Students.

28. Abdulcadir U. Abdulatif - November 21, 2008

slam.

29. john khory - December 6, 2008

anaa bheeeb el girls

30. jason - December 13, 2008

Better late than never.this issue needs to be addressed and it cannot stay in closet for long.Most of the teenagers are easily mislead by media.Non of the people who have the responsibity have tried to seen the truth behind the issue,but have followed wat is been propagated by the media.
The article and the views shared by SAS are excellent.I believe that its people like us who have to take the matter into our hands and address it to the youth.
God bless us all .

31. Ahmed R. Khamis - February 3, 2009

such issue like this has been appear in our society for couple of reasons in my opinion. Firstly, as what the author say by the end of the article that mothers should show the girl more emotion, more interest, more support, and more believe of what the girl is doing, not just the mother it is also the father and brothers. Secondly, boys who does not have any thing to do more than chatting in the internet and walking around malls and home time in front of school girls. These kind of boys are acting in the another hand to attract girls to boy’s life!! So, that is why we found out this problem in our society these days.

For any problem there are solutions, but it is hard here to find it because it it is not just in one or tow girls, it is a problem where we can find in almost every single house in Saudi Arabia these days. In my opinion, getting married in an early age is a suitable solution here. Because when the girl find that there are a way to see herself with a probable way, girls would not be interested in these kind of girls who wants to be acting more like men. Another solution might be work with this problem is looking after the girl by her brother, can be a way that the girl could take it in addition to avoid such a problem like this. Finally, we should be proud of our society because people in other countries could not control their children as much as we can!!! I am proud to be Saudi and you should be proud to be from such an Islamic country and Islamic culture !!

32. Sous - February 3, 2009

No offense but sure people in other countries might not control their kids as much as you do but they don’t have this kind of problem in their countries either. And as for Islamic culture in Saudi, well that’s the idea but I don’t think it is true. All you need to do is to read the news to see how people are trying to corrupt the religion with ideas that stems more from their own cultural traditions than Islam.

33. naser - March 11, 2009

I define myself:
My name is naser Alnaser. To me of 32 years. I was never married. At me normal character, I love Arab girls &women I work the Administration Officer in Gulf Country its called Riyadh. I would like to make a good and nice friendship with Arab women & girls in the good world. I will wait (( 0508483667 ))

34. مشارى - April 11, 2009

السلام عليكم الى احبتى ابناء وطنى انا مشارى من الرياض افتقدتكم كثيراااااا ونفسى فى هوا الرياااااااااااااااااااااااااض لاعدمته

35. bobo - April 16, 2009

Hi

How r u all.I am a tall guy.I come from Kenya.I would like to meet nice and friendly ppl for healthy friendship.Iam currently based in KSA.

My number is 0545818007

36. faysal shukri - May 1, 2009

I need urgently saudi woman to marry and bring Somaliland.
contact faysalshukri@hotmail.com
Somaliland. now alminhal hospitals Hargeisa/ soonly replies by emails

37. faysal shukri - May 1, 2009

I need Saudi woman/contact me faysalshukri@hotmail.com
urgently replies

38. AAAAlllllll-Sssssssaaaaaaauuuuuudddddd - May 5, 2009

According to my View
Many people are indundged in different problems. Some Problems are indivisually 1 has to face & some whole Society has to bear,… Sexual relationship is the also the Problem Now a days,.. as per Quran Al-Mighty Allah has made a women(Hawa A.S) with the part of Man(Adam A.S),.. so its the human nature that man flows toward the woman,… & vice versa to complete the Body. in young age of 12-25 & some times later than this age… when a male or female is growing & passing through a particular age of growning @ that time whole body tries to complete itself,… so that missing part of man, now owner is female of that part try to attract each other,.. attracs each other,… & this cause generate sexual intraction, both come close each other,… & both(Fe/Male) find the differnet ways. if they are unable to complete their body,.. that intraction causes social problems like ,….male with male(GAY) or female with Female(Lesbian),… and after esteblishing the sexual relation, Body is unable to find its other part & this made them more intense & it creats more Sexual Intraction again,.. they try to find again & again,…

Un-Eqal rights in the Society & Laws are the resposible for such issues….. if a male & female is ready to esteblish for the Relation if they dont want then too they must be abide by this way,… but money must be removed from this relation,…

in KSA there is also a big problem not only with Saudi Guys but also with expatriates,… for saudi guys they have less money for the marriage & they find or try to estblish sexual relation with other women who are already married or divorced,.. or mostly are involved with their mad,… same problem is occuring with expatriates they are intensed by the Saudi Govt & Cultural Laws,… so many of getting maarying in thie country & are away from his wife many years,…
This is responsiblity of the Saudi Government to overcome these issues,…. If Saudi Government makes easy procedure for the family-visas of working class,.. then the working class here in Saudi Arabia will earn money from here & then spent here,.. it can also cause of a big economic problem as well as to over come the SINS that are the causes of SINS

thanking you for bearing & patience
Regards


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