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The Children of Qana July 31, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, War.

As I was sleeping in my warm bed,

they were forced out of theirs                                                                                                                                   in little pyjamas,
sleepy eyes and with little warm feet they tumbled to the shelter

As I woke up at night to feed my baby girl,

they cried in the dark, dusty, crowded room,
little hands trying to wipe their last tears
to no use at all

As I woke up from the laughter of my daughter and kissed my sleeping son,

they screamed from the noise of falling bombs,
terrified clinging on to their crying mothers
to no use at all

As I made breakfast, watched the sun kiss the rooftops, listened to the cries of sea gulls

they were dug out from the rubble
still in their little pyjamas
still desperatly clinging on                                                                                                                                     and
still in the embrace of their beloved mothers

all with cold feet


aargh! July 29, 2006

Posted by Aella in Sweden.

How come there are some days when everything is calm and then all of a sudden you just lose it? For no proper reason? Eff feel like exploding!!!

Soppy bi*ch July 28, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, Lebanon, Sweden, War.
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Listened to one of my old favourites as a child today and it kinda hit me hard…cus of the situation today..

Anthem from Chess

No man, no madness
Though their sad power may prevail
Can possess, conquer, my country’s heart
They rise to fail
She is eternal
Long before nations’ lines were drawn
When no flags flew, when no armies stood
My land was born

And you ask me why I love her
Through wars, death and despair
She is the constant
We who don’t care
And you wonder will I leave her — but how?
I cross over borders but I’m still there now

How can I leave her?
Where would I start?
Let man’s petty nations tear themselves apart
My land’s only borders lie around my heart 

Guilt July 26, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Sweden.

Been to the dr today for some test so I can proceed my visa application process. Will have to take wait  a few days for the results.

Don’t know what to say about things anylonger. Really don’t.

There will be a demonstration here on Friday. I will go there.

What can I do for people now?  Any really good suggestions?

Going home July 25, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, Lebanon, Sweden, War.

Today we were supposed to go back to Beirut. I´m hurting inside to think that I won’t see Beirut for a long time. And once I do, nothing will be the same.

As I entered the twillight zone last night, I saw images of Lebanese mountain roads, cars driving and the view of Beirut from above. Then suddenly a voice said -They are bombing Beirut! It was so clear and loud that it woke me up. Shook me up.

This isn’t really happening is it?

How can the world just stand by and watch?

I cry once again…

Leaving Lebanon July 22, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, Lebanon, Sweden.

My friend Bob from 1 Too Many Peaches left Lebanon yesterday. He went through Syria is now staying in Jordan with a friend. All seems well hamdulilla and today my lil sister-in-law has arrived safely in Syria. Inshalla the rest of her journey will be smooth as well.

People are fleeing in thousands. Embassies and consulates are working 24/7 to get their citizens out. But who will help the Lebanses to leave? Who will evacute them? Heey who cares right?

A friend I spoke to today had her son on one of the ships coming from Cyprus yesterday. Trust the trip back to Cyprus to be a nightmare. Who cares one might say as long as they are safe and sure that´s true but would it not be possible to go that extra mile to help people that had to leave their homes, friends and family in a rush? No of course not if you are Cypriot. As some know I despise these people after having lived in this unfriendly country for a year. To me this is unbelievable but they had actually locked all the cabins on the boat and therefore people were left to sleep on the floor….kids, pregnant women, old people all the same. How can it be possible to treat people in this way? The Lebanese are the most hospitable and friendly people I have ever met and they get treated by their neighoburs like this? The Cypriots just DON`T KNOW SERVICE AND HOSPITALITY!

How is it possible that the small country of Lebanon ended up with such neighbours? Israel, Syria and Cyprus. Can it get any worse? Ok, add North Korea and we´re done.

The war rages on July 19, 2006

Posted by Aella in Beirut, Lebanon, Sweden.

So waz up? I’m watching the news, reading the news, hearing the news. But I can’t take it in. No, I can’t take in that what I call home has been destroyed. That the people I call mine have had to flee their homes and had to pay the price of life for a cause they did not recognise. No I can´t take it in.

My Lebanese dream is shattered. The streets are covered in cracked concrete. People in a shocked state are picking up their belongings. Children are crying. Mothers trying to comfort. But to what use? The Lebanese hope has been crushed once again. Sure the Lebanese will as always rise from the ashes and rebuild their country. They will always show the world their kick-ass-attitude….. but won’t there be a day when they can’t take it anymore? When they pack their bags and say farewell to this their beloved country once and for all? How many times can people go through this before they say enough? How many times?

No I can’t take it in. I keep crying inside and sometimes the pain finds it way out but I wipe my tears quickly. Sitting here crying is of no use.


Let it burn July 15, 2006

Posted by Aella in Lebanon, Sweden.
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Staying (alive) July 14, 2006

Posted by Aella in Lebanon, Sweden.

We have decided to stay. I gave up all hope of going back as I read that the airport has been bombed for the fourth time. I will apply for our Saudi visas from here and inshalla it will all be ok. My lil sister-in-law is still in Lebanon and I am really hoping we can get her out soon 😦 .

 I don’t get what happened to Nasrallah… He always seemed so diplomatic and calm last year and whenever there has been a problem. Not that I am a Nasrallah expert but I did have respect for him as a leader and politican. All of a sudden he seems to have woken up and talks with the same confidence as the Iraqi minister of Information did when USA attacked Iraq. And what’s up with his eyes and face. He seems so excited :/ . As much as I hate the Israelis for what they have done I cannot understand how Nasrallah can bring a whole country into war with a smile on his lips. Unbelievable.

Smoke rising from Beirut

Fucking Israelis July 13, 2006

Posted by Aella in Sweden.

I just can’t believe what is happening. Now the Rafic Hariri Airport has been hit along with the Manara tv station. These f###ing animals won’t stop at anything. All I can say is that I hate them, bloody well do. Them and their bloody country! May they be crippled by all means.

Animals II